KrukWorld

Listen to Fake Booby Judy

2008-11-18T10:33:00.001-08:00

Medicinal Healing Laughter

2008-10-30T23:55:00.000-07:00

Noted Idiot James Kruk finally achieved his supreme goal and stumbled onto healing laughter and more yes much more, he learned the secret of how to teach it.

After years of study in Poland and other equally absurd countries Kruk found an archaic form of idiocy long forgotten since the comic days of yore when every man woman and child was a first degree buffoon. Stay tuned and tune in to the vibe of humor and the awesome power that laughter can bestow. I know it sounds like a whole bunch of pucky to you but Medicine laughing is no laughing matter, well... it is but you see if you are too serious about laughter it defeats the entire purpose of laughter. Medicinal Laughter cannot be explained and need not be explained as to analyze laughter is a waste of time and its simply in bad humor really.

Kruk, King of Poles?!

2007-03-11T14:37:00.000-07:00

Kruk, king of the Poles?
March 11, 2007 08:36 AM
Associated Press

WARSAW – Lawmakers have drawn up a resolution naming an American of Polish descent, James Kruk as the honorary king of Poland, but have failed to win support from the country's powerful Roman Catholic church.
Lawmakers for the ruling Law and Justice party and League of Polish Drunkards as well as the opposition Merry Peasants Party back the resolution, said Szymon Ruman, spokesman for parliamentary speaker Marek Jurek. Who could not be reached as he had eaten bigos the night before.
However, the proposal has the support of only 6 members in the 460-seat parliament, well short of the necessary 231 votes to pass. Ruman said the resolution would likely be voted on sometime after Jan. 1.” But as you see 6 is less than 460” He paused a moment and later added. “a lot less.”
Backing from the church in this strongly Catholic country would be crucial for building support for the proposal, but on Wednesday several bishops and several sheep criticized it, and said parliament should stay out of religious affairs, and the barnyard.
"Let parliament deal with passing better laws that we need not some upstart Kruk I don’t care how much a person looks like Jan Sobieski its no reason to make him king of Poland”, Gdansk Archbishop Tadeusz Goclowski said.
"This kind of action, although it may stem from good will, sounds a bit like bad bigos," said Bishop Tadeusz Pieronk. And besides “Kruk is a jerk.”

Polska Walczaca

2007-02-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

This modest plaque adorns the former Nazi H.Q. building in Katowice to honor those who lost their lives fighting for Poland during W.W. ll . The Polska Walczaca (pronounced Valchohntsa or thereabouts) is the symbol of the Polish Home army or A.K.

Polish Skull

2007-02-17T12:29:00.000-08:00

If you look very carefully you can find Pirates everywhere. This is a shot from Wawel cathedral in Krakow.

The name "Kruk"

2007-02-11T04:04:00.000-08:00

I am looking out the balcony window a light pelting of ice rain coats the streets and trees below. As a young polish-american lad i I believed the meaning of my simple polish name to be "Crow" I thought it was cool, until much later a friend pointed out to me that my name translated to English was "Jim Crow". Which kind of stinks, even later when i moved to Poland i found out much to my relief that my name did not actually mean crow at all but Raven. "Crow" in polish is Wrona (Vrona) and Raven is "Kruk". This gave me back my former respect for my surname. I have tried tracing the name but only got as far as "One who dwells near or at the sign of the crow" from a geneology website. And from Disneyland I bought my heraldric symbol a crow with a ring in its beak. Somehow I don't believe disneyland to be a reliable bastion of true genealogy study but the t-shirt looked cool. But to make this story even more boring i will continue, I will tell you the real story of Kruk. Here in poland one can witness vast storytellings of ravens forming sometimes, such as before storms, a super unkindness of more than 600 ravens. In the large tree just outside my window I am spying over 30 ravens taking what little refuge they can from the light icing outside. The Polish raven is a regal bird, large and shiny as if someone smothered it with Vitalis (my fathers favorite pomade) they have dark black beaks and tower over their cousins the Crow which are smaller and yellow- beaked. So ancestors of the family Kruk this is the origin of your name the mighty raven which rules the skies of Poland all winter long.

Look at my Videos from Poland

2007-02-11T02:14:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/my_videos

Polish-Soviet War 1919-1920

2006-08-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

Mr.Kruk and Dariusz Starvonov cultural attache from the Kingdom of Bohemia and special minister and advisor to Duke Vatislav Podiebrady. Mr. Starvonov was in Krakow looking for the perfect setting for the dukes daughter Jedwiga's wedding reception. We had the opportunity to discuss several uninteresting things like the difference in the shape of buttons on various Polish shirts and trousers. Later in the piwnica at McDonalds on Florianska Mr. Starvonov regailed the tourists with his kingdom's national covorting dance.

The other photos are Polish recruiting posters from the Polish-Soviet war 1919-1920. This war is famous for "The miracle on the Wisla (vistula)" Where Jozef Pilsudski's Polish army trounced the Red army of Lennin and Trotsky. The Russians had to trotsky on out of Poland. Sadly after the Soviets licked their wounds they vowed to get even and we all know what happened later.

Man-Pri's

2006-07-17T13:43:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of the author of this blog, wearing blue Manpri's. Manpri's are a mans' version of the Capri, or Pedal Pusher pant. There are much more elaborate versions some bearing more resemblance to slacks some more on the short side. No, these smart pants aren't clam-diggers either although we understand how one might be fooled by the similarity. Manpri's are Europes' most popular summer pant. They do tend to make a grown man look like a young boy, some even say they may look more than a little fruity, but the European male cares not and saunters to the pub or ice cream shop, emboldened by his calves jutting out from underneath his flood shortened trousers. He feels cooler and looks like a million as his white lower legs now proudly say hello to a world all too often hidden to them by the legs of his "normal" trousers. Can't find Manpri's ? no problem equally as popular is the trend of rolling the pant-leg up to Manpri level approx. 4 to 6 inches or for you euro trash 10 to 15 cm below the knee ang simply carry on as if you truly are wearing manpri's People either will think three things whilst wearing Manpri's One: You are about to wade into some ankle to knee deep water. Two: Your European and don't have the good sense Not to wear Manpri's or Three: well imagine that one yourself.
And actually the Manpri's in the photo are my wifes pajamas. But thats another story.

Lilianna Loves The Mets

2006-07-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

Well we can't be truly certain if she actually does love the Mets but we can be sure her father will brainwash her into making the Mets her favorite team. its summer and the weather is incredible. the best time to be in Polska, its too bad its so short. The little girl is ready to walk any day now.

Kruk in Katowice

2006-06-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

I must admit being a little under the weather which is silly because the weather here is finally quite splendid. Nevertheless my reader, here i begin.
I was sitting on my balcony listening to the latest rantings of my old crazy lady neighbor. She asks me all sorts of questions not knowing I don't always understand. She has no sense of time as she thinks every time my baby gets bigger that I have just had another one. She shouts (in Polish obviously) "What number is that one? 12 ? where is that small one you had? Soon you will have your own pre-school." She will also see me in the middle of the day smoking on my balcony and yell" you look like an old scarecrow" or "mannequin staring at me" Or my favorite so far, "you are the laziest man in Poland, always smoking on the balcony!" She is never outside to see that I work either very early in the morning or at night.
Living in gray dusty sooty Katowice is like being in some strange novel, or better a low budget arty film with no real point but to show some sort of alienation, or simply how weird things are when they are only a little different. After almost 2 years living here the language isn't quite so daunting, I am not nearly fluent but now I can attempt to pronounce somethings and actually come close enough to convey some actual meaning close to what I wish to say. But a language with at least five ways of saying "you" takes a lot of work to get your tongue around. Not to mention consonant combinations which make your eyes water, and brain actually freeze with indecision. "Prz" and "Scz" to name only two. But more strange is the behavior during football(soccer) matches or rather comming back from matches. The other day I was at the tram stop around 9pm and I heard a chant reverberating from a tram heading towards me but still almost 15 blocks away. Then as the tram pulled in front of me what seemed like hundreds of teenagers streamed out all chanting "G K S Katowice" and clapping in unison. There were several vans of heavily padded Police waiting for trouble. Often the Police will surround the bus station thus "penning in" the fans. This is a scary situation for a non fan who not speaking the language so well will often answere yes to most questions. And a yes answer could get the crap beaten outta you by some fan you just unwittingly insulted, or get you hauled into the station by the cops. As an american strangely to say I will never understand the infantile mentality of fighting because you are from the other town or for the other team. Heckling I understand and believe to be essential to sport, and a fans given right especially a paying fan. But violence and skull-crackery I say Nie that is just plain idiocracy.

2006-04-28T00:22:00.000-07:00

Little Lilianna at six and a half months.

2006-04-12T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is a shot of the castle (Zamek) at Ogrodzieniec it was built around the 1300's it was said to have been very opulent. It has a commanding view all around it and is built on solid rock. The Swedish burnt it in the 1500's or so then the Boner family (no joke) had it until hell I don't know.It is truly amazing and not far from Krakow. My wife doesn't kinow exactly what direction east west etc. from Krakow, but its well worth seeing and you can explore the whole thing, and when your done have a beer in the Piwnica! (basement) They even let you chop off someones head if you want.

2006-03-03T10:45:00.000-08:00

Lilly standing up, well almost. thats my girl.

2006-03-02T15:26:00.000-08:00

the electrode removed from my brain after being placed there by aliens in 1972. note the metalic stryheedzoid.

2006-03-02T15:21:00.000-08:00

When your done ogling the black speedo check out the "grill suit" This guy is wearing a propane tank and grilling weiners in 90 degree heat.

2006-03-02T15:15:00.000-08:00

the eyes say it all

A Kruk In Poland

2006-02-25T10:01:00.000-08:00

Poland or Polska as we like to call it over here. I thought I would make a list of things that the average Pole would really love to see introduced to Poland. But then I boiled it all down to one all encompassing factor. They just don't have much fear of attorney here. The laws are prohibative to certain lawsuits that could raise the level of service and efficentcy that we know and love in the U.S. Of A.
President Kaczynski newly elected Napoleanic and at the same time Donald Duckish, is a real right wing nutter who fancies making All abortion illegal. Now if the mother is in danger or the baby or the child was a result of violent assault an abortion can be had legally. But the President wants to stop that so young polsih girls must resort to archaic measures or the black market (still quite strong) for her needs.
What I believe in my infinite wisdom Poland needs or rather the Polish people need is someone to tell them that they need not be treated the way they are accustomed to. Waiting on line for one form, another to buy stamps to pay for services at say the registers office or passport office. a third to get a stamp on a paper. Then back to the first desk where they tell you now you have to pay more and go get more documents. Then wait a month for your answer. And all you wanted was to mail a letter.
Talk about lines too. Jesus Some people here have no qualms about wheedling their way right in front of you. Usually these are ole ladies with mohair beret's stinking of some god awful american perfume by Coty from 1979. Or they keep knocking into your backside with the point of their shopping basket. I have taken to using a cart and placing it as a barrier between the next customer and I. This will drive them mad, mad I say.
But on the whole life here is good in a poor country simple pleasures take on that much more of a meaning. Just visiting with family or bouncing my little 4 month old on my knee as we play her favorite game "hop hop" Or playing with Hot Wheels all day with the 6 year old. Its cold and the Ravens are asleep in the trees and my love just got the coffee ready.

Kruk outside my window

2006-02-10T02:23:00.000-08:00

Kruk = Raven in Polish.
I sit here in the Detroit of Poland, Katowice a coal stained city in south-central Poland. Its snowing, it snows everyday. When the wind comes in from Russia its so cold your sinuses freeze inside your head. It was minus 20 celsius but I have no idea how cold that is in farenhight nor how to spell it.
There is a murder of ravens (my polish namesake) outside on the building opposite mine just huddling together. The Kruks are huddling together inside our little home. Babcia made me some Cytronowka for the medicinal use. This is a drink made from Spiritus, lemon, and sugar. Spiritus is pure alcohol.
Katowice was used by the S.S. to oversee the "Camps" in Silesia. There were sporadic battles in Katowice after W.W. 1 between German, Polish , Russian, and even Irish and French troops supplied to secure the area. There is a monument to some Polish boyscouts who defended an area of the city against the Nazi's. Today though there are old ladies with bags full of turnips and potatoes walking gingerly home from the "sklep" shop. My little baby Lilly is in my beautiful polish wife's arms, and I don't have to work today.